What is the authentic self?
This question could lead me down a very long rabbit hole. As such, I would like to offer a Japanese perspective on the self, with the phrase jibunrashii.
Jibunrashii
Jibunrashii, is written in Japanese as 自分らしい, translates to ‘like oneself’ or ‘worthy of oneself’. 自分, jibun, means ‘myself; yourself and oneself’ and らしい, rashi, means ‘-ish; like, typical of …; appropriate for …; becoming of’.
Breaking down the word further, 分, bun, means ‘part, portion or share’. We could understand 自分 jibun as your part, your self part. This indicates that your self is a part of something bigger: society.
Japanese understand that their identity is derived from being a part of a whole, and that they belong to various groups in which they are interdependent with others; these interpersonal relationships allow them to feel that they have a proper place in society.
In Japan, self-authenticity goes beyond the individual; Japanese know that one cannot be authentic without the help of others, or without being of service to others.
In the West, we often perceive the authentic self as something that we feel only we control, but as we all know, life isn’t easy and can throw challenges at us that put us under stress, often removing us from ourselves and causing us to act out in ways that contradict our values and the self we aspire to be. This suggests that we aren’t always in control of the self.
If we take the Japanese perspective — that the self is not independent but a part of a collective; a part of something bigger, a family, a society — we understand that our sense of self is defined and perhaps to some degree determined by others. Your authentic self is tied to the lives and influence of others. This is why we can lose our sense of self and sometimes even the desire to live when tragedy strikes.
The Loss of Authentic Self
Mikeo Kamiya, The Mother of Ikigai, described how the collapse of one’s value system — often caused by a traumatic life event — can lead to the loss of ikigai. We could understand the loss of ikigai as the loss of one’s authentic self.
The Loss and Return of Authentic Self in Afterlife
This is brilliantly depicted in Afterlife, a British black comedy television series by Ricky Gervais. Gervais plays Tony, a journalist at a local free newspaper, whose life is torn apart when his wife dies from breast cancer. He contemplates suicide but instead decides to live long enough to punish the world for his wife’s death, by saying or doing whatever he wants with no concern for how his words or actions impact others. Over time, he discovers hope and finds that life is worth living as he slowly forms new relationships. Through these new relationships, Tony is able to express his values, which gives him a sense that life is worth living. He returns to his authentic self.
How would you define authentic self?
When are you self-authentic?
The above article is an excerpt from my book IKIGAI-KAN: Feel a Life Worth Living
